I remember his words vividly “I do it because I love you,” and still I stayed, even though his actions were nothing like the sweet words he spoke.
I remember vividly the way his palm felt as he hit it hard across my face. I remember how his fist felt as he punched me repeatedly all over my body even as I curled myself against the wall. How could I forget how his feet felt against my body as he continuously kicked me, as again, I curled myself on the cold floor. “I do it because I love you,” he said.
I remember bleeding myself unconscious after the punches and the kicks, waking up in the hospital and hearing that I had lost the baby. I remember crying myself to sleep for all the 3 nights that I was lying in that hospital bed, not once did he come to visit or check on how I was doing until the day I was discharged. He still had the audacity to remind me, “I do it because I love you.”
I remember how I screamed as I was woken up from my deep slumber by a splash from a bucket of ice cold water, straight to my face. The insults that followed hurt more than the ice cold water. “Wake up and go fix me something to eat. Whilst you are at it, heat up some water for me to take a warm bath.” I remember looking at my watch and seeing that it was a little after midnight on a cold winter night. There was no electricity and just one bucket of water left in the house. I got up and went out to light a fire and start on the chores as instructed, because as I was taught growing up, this is what a ‘real’ wife does. I boiled a pot of water, as it heated he shouted from the bedroom, “I do it because I love you.”
I remember how loud and shriek the next scream was. That scream was not from me, but it came from a not-so-drunk voice. “How could you pour such hot water on me like that, are you trying to kill me?” With tears filling my eyes, knees trembling, I felt like I had a frog stuck on my throat from all the anger I was bottling up but I gathered up the strength to respond “I do it because I love you.”
Did you know?
“Increased electricity and fuel crisis has only further intensified the situation making the living conditions of women worse, disrupting almost all aspects of daily life, especially the household tasks, which by society are considered the job of women. 61 per cent of women believe the blockade and electricity cuts have contributed to a higher rate of domestic violence against women. The psychological effects of the crisis on women are
lager as they become more exposed to tension, depression and violence compared to others as women are considered the corner stone of the family. The structural, cyclical and hierarchical nature of violence, therefore, means women often become “shock-absorbers” of the crisis.
The electricity shortage with limited electricity each day has increased the uncertainty for women, thereby turning women’s lives upside down. Women, therefore, often have to ensure the electricity required household tasks such as washing, laundry, ironing, cooking and ensuring children studying all have to be completed during the few hours of available electricity, which usually is during the night.”
The effects of the fuel and electricity crisis goes beyond the increase in prices and strain on the pockets, it is closely linked to gender based violence.