Why We May Hold On When Love Fades
Scrolling through social media and radio waves lately, I’ve been struck by a chorus of voices from women trapped in loveless relationships. They see the red flags waving, feel the disconnect in their own bones, yet they wait – for the final word, the official break-up, the push that sets them free.
I confess, this resonates with me. I, too, clung to a relationship beyond its expiry date, a prisoner of unspoken goodbyes. It’s tempting to write it off as a collective case of amnesia, where the signs become mere circus acts instead of urgent sirens. But it’s deeper, more nuanced than that.
Perhaps it’s the cultural echo of the “damsel in distress,” waiting for Prince Charming to break the spell. We learn, often subtly, that initiating action, especially in love, is a misstep. We toss hints like breadcrumbs instead of boldly claiming our desires. This unspoken rule has led many women to sit and wait for the decision to be made on their behalf – usually by patriarchy. If the man doesn’t take the first step to tell you to leave, then maybe hopefully waiting for your brothers/father to come and “rescue” you.
But it’s not just societal scripts. Sometimes, fear paints the exit door with invisible chains. Fear of judgment, of loneliness, of losing the familiar, even the fear of hurting the other person (a burden we often shoulder disproportionately). We cling to the wreckage, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, things will miraculously right themselves.
Then there’s love, that elusive, potent force. Letting go of someone you once loved, even if the love has morphed into resentment or apathy, is excruciating. We hold onto memories, promises, and the flicker of hope that rekindling the flame is possible.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Each woman’s story is a tapestry woven with unique threads of cultural expectations, personal anxieties, and the complex tapestry of love and loss. But by starting this conversation, by sharing our vulnerabilities and exploring the tangled knot of reasons why we stay, we begin to unravel the silence and empower ourselves to claim the narratives of our own hearts.
This is just an invitation to delve deeper into this multifaceted issue. Let’s share our experiences. I only have questions, no answers!
Munhukadzi 