Thank you, I will take the bill

I have had a couple of experiences at a restaurant and an event in Zimbabwe; including paying for VIP tickets for the Akon show then ending up in the general section and dumped at the venue after the shuttle bus didn’t return, to being attacked by a clown at a local event, to great events I have attended both locally and internationally, to being banished from a local restaurant because we were too loud. Day 6 of 30 of the #30DayAfriBlogger challenge and we blog about an experience at an event or a restaurant. I decided to share the stereotypes that bother me in and around restaurants and other places.
A few weeks ago my partner and I decided to go watch a football match at a local pub, it must have been a Monday or a Tuesday. The surprise looks on the faces of other patrons as we walked in was kind of hilarious to say the least. What was a woman doing in a pub during the week, at night, dressed in a hoody and leggings with a gentleman that looked her age? I was one of the only two women in that pub, the other being the woman serving behind the counter. The men in the pub would look at me then back at my partner seemingly thinking why a man would bring his partner into a local bar, yet the real place for a woman on such a day would probably be in the kitchen or with the kids. But we have no children, and we had decided to eat out, and we also enjoy watching soccer together in a pub. *chuckles*

We didn’t stay long here, the place itself was a bit nippy (not just the people). We decided to move to another place just across the neighborhood. If I did not know my partner better I would have thought he suggested a move from the first pub because he was feeling uncomfortable. I however couldn’t stop reflecting on this experience. The true reflection of society’s expectation for a woman was written all over the faces of the men in the pub. What we had done was against the norm and what we had done was generally against the status quo. Not only is soccer considered a men’s sport but watching it in a bar or a pub is not what women do. 
I remember reading one of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s books and thinking to put some of what she had written about to the test. We arrived at a restaurant just outside the city center and I was driving whilst my partner was in the passenger’s seat. We found a good parking spot directed by one of the informal parking marshals. As we got out of the car he greeted my partner who was coming out from the passenger’s side, not much said to me, actually not a word. The parking marshal asked my partner if he could watch the car as we were out dining. Although I had been the one driving, the general assumption was that the man would decide if he wanted him to watch the car or not, and probably he had the money to pay for the parking. Yes, I am petty like that.
Ever wondered why the bill in a restaurant is always presented to the man at the table? Well I have always wondered why and I decided to ask one of the waiters when we had gone out for lunch with another female and male friend of mine. After the meal the waiter brought the bill and presented it to the male at the table, who wasn’t even the one paying. There is a general assumption that the man takes the bill, but sometimes I just want to take my partner out for a meal, and sometimes maybe this is a business meeting and I am the one footing the bill. The classic one is automatically placing a steak in front of a man and a salad in front of a woman. Or assuming that an order of beer goes to a man and a cocktail goes to a woman. 

There are obviously bigger battles to fight in restaurants, and of course the issue of the bill may seem quite small, but the little things add up. Placing a bill at the center of a table instead of specifically to one person (male or female) is a nod towards breaking down stereotypes, while breaking bread.  
After thoughts

• The most lucrative business deals and allegiances are often formed in male dominated social spaces such as bars and clubs. Women interacting with men in these settings (especially in the absence of a male chaperon) is often taboo. These dynamics make it very difficult for women to participate freely, or to tap into business networks.